This is a terrible anniversary, but I am also blessed by this memory of my mother. She only lived eleven days more after this, but I am thankful for the time I had with her during those stressful days. On this date a year ago my sister Joan went by Mother's house and found her there, unresponsive. She had had a stroke. Here is what I wrote a day later about the hours that followed.
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July 21, 2021
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| Mother and Me about 1949. |
Dear friends and family,
My heart abounds with love and joy at the outpourling of prayers, love and concern for my Mother today. I am sleep deprived and tired but would like to update you. She is 98 years old and just had a stroke and I am trying to be realistic; I know that things can change very quickly at this point for anyone at mother's age, or anyone with her assortment of illnesses and injuries, especially a stroke. BUT the improvement today seems at this point almost miraculous.
As I drove home from Erlanger Hospital in the wee hours of this morning I never expected to again hear a recognizable version of the voice that I have heard and loved, I suppose, since hearing it muffled by amniotic fluid. But after a successful thrombectomy - a procedure just introduced in 2015 - mother this afternoon recorded, with my sister Joan's help, a very brief, but cogent message to her friends and loved ones, somewhat hoarse and strained, IN THAT BELOVED VOICE. She tired quickly and went back to sleep soon after --- but she SPOKE PLAINLY.
Out of yesterday's stress and fear and indecision and chaos came two stories that I will cherish for whatever time I have left on this earth:
In the ER at Floyd Hospital my sister Joan and I stood at Mother's right side and tried to comfort and reassure her. She was restrained to protect the connections of her body to the necessary protective and diagnostic devices. Mother was very agitated. She grabbed at our hands. She pulled - HARD - on my shirt as I leaned over to caress her hair. She started repeating a single very slurred word. We new she desperately wanted us to understand her but we couldn't. "ussh" "ussh" "ussh" "ussh". We could not understand her! Finally she said , hoarsely but plainly, "K - I - S - S, ussh!" She wanted to kiss and be kissed. We obliged.
A good bit later she had once again gotten very frantic. It was absolutely heart-breaking to see her so distraught and unable to communicate. Suddenly I remembered that it is said that sometimes folks who can't respond to spoken words CAN respond to music, so I just started singing "Amazing Grace". Mother immediately. in a coarse and slurred voice I would never have recognized as the sweet voice of my mother, began singing WITH me. ALL five verses (including my favorite that folks often skip "The Lord has promised good to me, his word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures." Joan and Lyn and Steve and Sheila joined with some harmony. Then we sang "Love Lifted Me". Then "How Great Thou Art". Then "Great Is Thy Faithfulness". When the EMTs came to take her off in an ambulance for the trip to Chattanooga (weather precluded the preferred Life-Flight) she was still reciting that song's wonderful words "...there is no shadow of turning with Thee..." (The phrase is based on James 1:17.)
I would have given $1000 on the spot to have gotten to ride in that ambulance to provide a loving hand for her to hold, but I am thankful that my wonderful wife reminded her that God would be in the ambulance with her. I hope that eased the wild ride that followed for her.
Thank you all again for your friendship and for your love and concern for my Mother and for me and our family.
-Terrell
