Gleaning Facebook: A Tough Week

Headed off to the fourth funeral I've attended in a week.  

Last Wednesday my first cousin Benny Loyd's service, then theater/Democratic friend Mary Doster's on Saturday -- I wrote about these two folks previously.

The funeral for our church friend Lana Poss' was this morning, and this afternoon, the service for my neighbor of 26 years, Katherine Gordon, who was also the mother of Justin, a student in my very first class at McHenry in 1971.

I have never regretted attending a wake, a visitation, or a funeral. There have been several times I regretted NOT attending. Twice I had to miss funerals, of folks very important to me, because I had major roles in shows that could not have gone on without me. But I still feel lousy for missing them. 

Each of these four occasions this week were sad, yes, but each also enriched my life. My advice to anyone who will listen to this 67-year-old coot: Go to funerals. Just be there. You won't regret it. You will learn. You will grow. You will be enriched. 

And children should attend funerals. It is one of the ways we pass on to our kids the things that really matter. It's a time when folks get real, and we hear from the hearts of our friends and family the things we should, but don't say day to day.

In all four of these occasions I learned things I hadn't known about folks whom I already admired. I learned something about what was important to each of them, and also something about the values of those they left behind, and I feel closer to them for it.

Comments:

Howard Smith
Seems to me like being acquainted with you has a downside....which, causes me some personal concern.

Ricky Conaway
Terrell where did you live at I lived close to the Gordons also on Cedar Ave. right across the street from Mr. Lindsey and beside Bill Cox

Joan Shaw Turrentine
That makes for a very hard week.

Bob Doster
We're very sorry about this situation. BUT you are a great comfort to the people involved.

Wendy Ramsey
So sorry for such a sad week!

John Countryman
When it rains it pours. Comforting thoughts!

Mary Nisbet Asbury
dang!

Neal Brackett
Good Grief Terrell. you haven't been hanging out with Angela Lansbury have you?

Madelyn Collette
Good of you to show your care or these families.

Terrell Shaw
Ricky we lived at 608 directly across the street from the Coxes. The Gordons' backyard bordered ours.

Terrell Shaw
Wendy, you are the one with the rough week. I was so sorry hear of your loss. But I'm glad that y'all were able to be with your mom at the end.

Madelyn Collette
I was sick with gallstones and could not attend the funeral of one of my dearest friends Linda Stone. We did have a candle burning in her memory at our Circle of which she was a DEVOTED MEMBER. It hurts so bad when you can't attend services for those you love.

Deborah Lake Dawson
Sorry for your losses, so many at once.

Ruth Pinson
What a week! I'm so sorry.

George Barton
I don't know why, I thought of Hugh Grant and "Four Weddings and a Funeral".

Bitsy Burton
Hugs, Terrell!

Barbara J. Gale
You sang beautifully at Lana's service. Thank you.

Gleaning Facebook: RIP Mary Doster

Comments

Buzz Wachsteter
Mary has made her final curtain call on the stage of the Desoto, and has taken her place on the front row of the balcony. God bless a truly unique and loving person. Enjoy catching up with Cathy and Josh, Forrest, Hyman and Lilly, L.T., Dan and Edna, Gordon Elliott, and so many more. You will always be in our hearts and memories.

Laura L Adams
Just tagged the marquis photo for the Drumbeat...

Bob Doster
Thanks.

Julia Hilburn Dent
Terrell, please friend Mike Tolbert or tag him with this photo!! He is her nephew & came from N.C. to the service & all!!!

Mike Tolbert
Thanks so much. She was a dear aunt

Barbara J. Gale
Mary was one of my first friends in Rome...I will miss her.

Deb Joyner Dennemann
Terrell, dear one, tell us about her memorial service. I was so sorry to not be able to be there.......

Terrell Shaw
It was great to meet your parents, Deb.
It was a very nice service, with a reception/meal afterwards. I told a few Mary stories at the reception and several other chimed in as well. I think Mary would have approved.
I plan to put the memories folks sent me into a file to share with Bob & Bill and others soon. I have two more funerals to attend (and I'll sing at one of those) this week. It seems they come in bunches. Entirely too common these days.

Deb Joyner Dennemann
It's such a small church.. hope it was packed.. would have been much more so if folks like me could have been there. What a lovely thing to do for Bill and Bob. Sorry to hear of the other funerals you have to attend but I agree entirely too many these days.

Terrell Shaw
Had to bring in benches and chairs… it was packed.

Deb Joyner Dennemann
OH I'm so happy to hear it was such a good turnout!

 

Gleaning Facebook: On Mary Doster's Service

Harriet Kiser
Mary's service today was a very beautiful celebration of her life.  Terrell Shaw shared some hilarious memories of Mary along with several folks who had worked with her over the years in Rome LittleTheatre.  I could picture Mary and Nancy sitting there together in "their" pew.  Give Nancy my love.

Regina Reynolds Yarbrough
Thank you Harriet!! If we can ever get moved I could attend these things - so many great memories of my mom and the Marys!

Nancy Parker Self

We went to Mary's service. It was very lovely and touching . So glad she was apart of our lives.

Gleaning Facebook: Mary Doster

I just got off the phone with Bob Doster. Mary has died.

I will miss that woman. I could depend on a bear-hug from her every time I saw her. Bob and Earlene brought her up here for our Independence Day barbecue in 2012 and we had a great time.

As you can read at this picture I posted years ago, she was my fellow actor and fellow Democrat. We were officers together in the Floyd County Democratic Party for many years. She was Auntie Em to my Wizard/Marvel in the Wizard of Oz in 1993.

On her 90th birthday (in December, I think) Bob says he and Earlene took Mary to Agatha's in Atlanta for the dinner theater/murder mystery. They involve the audience there and gave Mary a line or two to say. Her eyes and ears had betrayed her by that time, but she memorized the lines and wowed the actors and audience with her performance - which included, not surprisingly, some improvisation!

Soon after that Mary came down with pneumonia and never fully recovered.

Visitation will be Friday at Transfiguration Episcopal Church and the funeral at the church on Saturday at 11.

Mary Doster has been my friend for most of my adulthood. Before that she was the mother of a friend, Bob. She has been involved with two activities close to my heart for all that time: Rome Little Theater and the Democratic Party. This is the photo sheet she used to send for prospective auditions. She has appeared in several films as well as many community plays. She was Auntie Em with my Professor Marvel/Wizard in Wizard of Oz.

Mary Louise
What a beloved Lady she was! ML

Roger Wade
R. I. P. Mary Doster..

Tim Shiflett
A great lady. I shall never forget all of the support and kindness she gave us up here, in Chattooga.

Bob Doster
All rite mighty fine. Thanks.

Beckie Gurley
Do you know what time Friday?

Wendy Davis
Thanks for sharing these photos and fond memories!

 

Gleaning Facebook: Benny Loyd

Benny Green Loyd

Benny with his daughter Diane at her wedding

Benny, Diane, Lori, and Evelyn

Another week, two funerals. Just now learned of Mary Doster's death (see below). Last night Sheila and I attended the visitation for my first cousin, Benny Loyd, down in Rockmart.

Benny, an older teen in my earliest memories, was my beloved Aunt Vek's son. Funerals bring us together. As sad as we are, it still felt good to be with Evelyn and her four kids. And to see my cousin Marian, Benny's sister. And David and Susan, her son and daughter. And catch up. As time has passed and later generations have multiplied and gone off to soccer and softball and proms and all the living of their own lives, it gets harder and harder to get the cousins together. That's a pity. We have already lost a bunch of us. There's been lots of water over the shoals at Porterdale since we climbed that big ol' chinaberry tree behind Mama Baird's house and threw those hard yellow berries at each other. Or ate Aunt Mary's divinity and fudge or one of those clove-flavored candy sticks they kept around the house. . Or played hopscotch on the sidewalk out front.

So you Baird cousins and families, let's make the Labor Day reunion a big one this year. And let's hear lots of stories of Benny, and Bobby, and Gail, and Jerry, and Jack, and Don, and the others who have left us.

It's always interesting to find unknown connections at visitations. Brenda Henderson who taught with me at Armuchee was there for her friend Diane, Benny's daughter.

Comments:

Chris Frazier

I'm sorry to learn of these two deaths. Mary Doster was a friend whom I had not seen for years. I don't understand why we're here, but I know that the Leech is coming for us all.

Deborah Lake Dawson
I just lost someone yesterday. So hard to loose icons in your life.

Donald Murdock
Sorry for your loss, Terrell. Reminded me that I haven't spoken with my aunt, Gwen Murdock, in awhile. Will phone now. BTW, for all us Murdock cousins it was a huge crabapple tree in my grandma's back yard on E. 9th. Great memories.

Julia Hilburn Dent
What happened to Mary??? She was a bud and one of my good friends Aunts!!!

Wanda Mulkey Dagraedt
Sorry for your Loss.

Barbara J. Gale
So sorry about Mary. She was one of my first friends in Rome.

Gary Greene
So sorry my condolence's

Rose McDonald Darby
Scary when members of one's own generation are dying. All my mom and dad's brothers and sisters are gone. We are now the grandmas and papas, the old ones. Hard for me to believe. I still feel 30.

Terrell Shaw
I'm inexperienced at this being old thing. I hope to gets lots of practice so I can eventually get it right!

Rose McDonald Darby
Jim's dad is living with us; at age 91 he is getting it right!

Terrell Shaw
Yep. I still have my 91 hr-old Mom, who is working on another book! The key, I think, is to not slow down.

Rose McDonald Darby
I agree. I hope to still be running about at an old age.

Another week, two funerals. Just now learned of Mary Doster's death (see below). Last night Sheila and I attended the visitation for my first cousin, Benny Loyd, down in Rockmart.

Benny, an older teen in my earliest memories, was my beloved Aunt Vek's son. Funerals bring us together. As sad as we are, it still felt good to be with Evelyn and her four kids. And to see my cousin Marian, Benny's sister. And David and Susan, her son and daughter. And catch up. As time has passed and later generations have multiplied and gone off to soccer and softball and proms and all the living of their own lives, it gets harder and harder to get the cousins together. That's a pity. We have already lost a bunch of us. There's been lots of water over the shoals at Porterdale since we climbed that big ol' chinaberry tree behind Mama Baird's house and threw those hard yellow berries at each other. Or ate Aunt Mary's divinity and fudge or one of those clove-flavored candy sticks they kept around the house. . Or played hopscotch on the sidewalk out front.

So you Baird cousins and families, let's make the Labor Day reunion a big one this year. And let's hear lots of stories of Benny, and Bobby, and Gail, and Jerry, and Jack, and Don, and the others who have left us.

It's always interesting to find unknown connections at visitations. Brenda Henderson who taught with me at Armuchee was there for her friend Diane, Benny's daughter.

 Comments:

Chris Frazier

I'm sorry to learn of these two deaths. Mary Doster was a friend whom I had not seen for years. I don't understand why we're here, but I know that the Leech is coming for us all.

Deborah Lake Dawson
I just lost someone yesterday. So hard to loose icons in your life.

Donald Murdock
Sorry for your loss, Terrell. Reminded me that I haven't spoken with my aunt, Gwen Murdock, in awhile. Will phone now. BTW, for all us Murdock cousins it was a huge crabapple tree in my grandma's back yard on E. 9th. Great memories.

Julia Hilburn Dent
What happened to Mary??? She was a bud and one of my good friend's aunts!!!

Wanda Mulkey Dagraedt
Sorry for your Loss.

Barbara J. Gale
So sorry about Mary. She was one of my first friends in Rome.

Gary Greene
So sorry my condolences

Rose McDonald Darby
Scary when members of one's own generation are dying. All my mom and dad's brothers and sisters are gone. We are now the grandmas and papas, the old ones. Hard for me to believe. I still feel 30.

Terrell Shaw
I'm inexperienced at this being old thing. I hope to gets lots of practice so I can eventually get it right!

Rose McDonald Darby
Jim's dad is living with us; at age 91 he is getting it right!

Terrell Shaw
Yep. I still have my 91 hr-old Mom, who is working on another book! The key, I think, is to not slow down.

Rose McDonald Darby
I agree. I hope to still be running about at an old age.

Independence Day 2010: Missing Friends

Our guests lined the top of the levee behind our house, with a few thousand other Rome citizens,
as the fireworks began a little after nine Sunday evening. I really like this picture.

Those Missing

Our Independence Day Celebration for 2010 started on a somber note as we remembered the three missing friends who have died in the last few weeks.

Charles Reichel attended the Fourth of July get-together several times with Sharon in recent years. Their daughter Carlyn is a dear friend of Brannon and one of our "extra daughters" from Brannon's school days. Their other children Carsten and Cara are former students of mine from my days in the gifted program. Cara and her husband Peter Mills, are the founders of Prospect Theater with whom I performed in a musical theater revue about ten years ago. Charles was the director of the National Creative Society, a Lutheran pastor, a loving husband and father, and a man of deep commitment to all those roles. Charles died of a sudden heart attack.

Here are a few of the early arrivals at last year's celebration. We grieve that we have lost three dear friends this year, each very suddenly: Cleve Burton (facing the camera in light blue shirt at the right) and Wint Barton (suspenders and cane), and Charles Reichel (not pictured)

I have written about Wint Barton several times. How he enriched our lives, the last few years especially. As our pastor pointed out at Wint's funeral, you don't expect the obituary of a 97 year-old to include the words "died unexpectedly". Wint's did. And it was very appropriate because he was such a vital, interesting, and interested nonagenarian. Wint began attending our Fourth of July parties about four years ago and was always the life of the party.

Then just a week ago Thursday, Cleve Burton, my good friend since 1962 (another, another, another) was struck by a massive heart attack in the middle of the night. His funeral came one week before the Fourth. I was unable to attend because of my involvement in a Rome Little theater show.

Cleve, a lawyer, was a person of remarkable integrity. He was scrupulously ethical in all his dealings. He loved the law. The Constitution and legal foundation of our country were precious to him. He would have made an excellent judge.

Cleve and I performed folk music together when we were in high school. We were MYF friends. At one MYF party at Cleve's house we got to watch a movie from his glassed in porch. They had sold West Rome Drive-in the property and had finagled the glassed-in porch and speaker as part of the deal. We went to Camp Glisson together. I bought my first guitar from Cleve.

Cleve and his father, Joe, taught me to play poker. Cleve's brother, Mike, became (and remains) one of my closest friends after Sheila and I moved back to Rome. Cleve's wonderful mother, Burnita, arranged so many singing engagements for me that I jokingly referred to her as "my manager."

Cleve and Terri have two children whose ages match those of our children. Keenan and Brannon were best buds in their preschool years. Daphne and Lillian were inseparable from toddlerhood through elementary years. We visited each other's houses for game nights, birthdays, chili, etc. Cleve and Terri make one of the world's great chilis. Sheila and I took squaredancing with the Burtons for several months in 1986.

Cleve and his family were almost always in attendance for our Celebration on the Levee from its inception in 1993. We grieve for him and will sorely miss him, especially at this time each year.

David had already removed most of the meat by the time I got a picture.
It sounds as if it would have been difficult to wedge in one more drumstick the smoker was so full!

About 150 old, new, and renewed friends joined us for the celebration and barbecue.
This is taken from the levee.

Fireworks over the world's greatest barbecue smoker.

You soon can read about and see more pictures of our
2010 Independence Day Celebration on my Facebook wall.

Here's a bit of John Adams for your Independence Week viewing:

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More from Facebook

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We had a ball at our Annual Independence Day Celebration on the Levee! Thanks to our friends -- old, new, and renewed -- who joined us! David's BBQ was delicious. As were all the side dishes and desserts -- what a feast! Banana pudding, cobblers, all sorts of red-white-and-blue desserts, Caroline & Ty's cheesy concoction, Mary's cheesy concoction, assorted slaws and baked beans (we depend on ya Virginia!), assorted dips, Debi's and Sheila's ice creams, --- I shouldn't have started, these are only a few examples of the deliciousness!!!

Facebook Comments:

Tersi Bendiburg
Sounds "delicioso" Terrell!

Terrell Shaw
Drive up and join us next year!

Terrell Shaw
Oh, Teresa's Brunswick Stew!!!! Oh, my!!

Jann Heaton Skeen
I LOVE banana pudding. My granny made the best! Hubby loves brunswick stew, but me, not at all.

Ginger McClure
It was truly awesome! The fun of being with wonderful people and the great food...and the fireworks on the hill!!! Fantastic! Thank you, "husbands" for inviting us!!!

Mary Nisbet Asbury
The ribs were rockin' !!!!

Barbara Jean Smith
had lunch with Ruthy Countryman today and she said it was a great party!

Christie Hufstedler Boyd
Loved it all, especially the vinegar based bbq sauce! Do you think you could get me the recipe? I haven't hit on one I loved yet and I really loved that one. Thanks for hosting the best party in town.

Lyn Davis
We had a great time!

Terrell Shaw
I feel like I hardly spoke to you and Ricky! Glad you had a good time.
Christie, I just had some chicken off the ol' Geo Foreman, with storebought BBQ sauce & thot: "I need to get David's recipe!"
David, if you read this, share!

Terrell Shaw
BTW Christie, did you deliberately duck when you saw my camera? I don't think you are in any of the pics.

David Shaw
email me at david(at)3datum(dot)com. I might not give you my exact recipe, but I can give you a really good starting point for either the vinegar based or the tomato based sauces.

Christie Hufstedler Boyd
Terrell, I didn't duck, I promise. And David, e-mail is on the way.

David Shaw
I didn't get to sample a lot of the food, but the Brunswick Stew and the Banana Pudding were incredible!

Angela Jones
Terrell it was so nice of you and your wife to open your home to all of us the way you did. We absolutely had a BLAST! Thank you once more for the kind gesture and for your friendship as well.

Tina Brinson
Thank you so much for letting my family join in the festivities of the 4th at your home. It was amazing. My girls are still talking about it! It was the perfect ending to our run at the theatre with BS3!

Terrell Shaw
It was great to have you and Paul & the kids here! Please come back. Did you look at the pictures I posted? Also great to have Angela & Wayne. And all the Brinsons! Y'all come again!

More Pictures:

Vicki and Alec

Jessica and Alec

Katie Shaw
Comment
Lillian Shaw
Pretty picture, pretty girl!

Gregg working in the kitchen.

L-R: 
1- Allie Whiteis
2-
3- Haley Shaw
4- Joseph Smyth
5- 
6-

From David Shaw: Well, the only things left on the smoker at this point is the brisket (which I'm taking off), one Boston Butt (barely peeking out from behind the corn), a couple of racks of ribs (finishing in foil, on top of the corn), and a bunch of corn on the cob.  Most of the meat is already in the kitchen being cut up for serving. I wish we'd gotten a picture with the smoker absolutely PACKED with meat, the way it was 20 minutes before this!

L-R: Teresa Ware, Richard Ware, Max Medley

From Jim Ellington: Actually, it's my granddaughter, Chloe Ellington!

Janice Overstreet Gross: OMG, i remember when she was born!

Haley Shaw

Ginger Burton Whiteis

L-R: Gola Burton, ?, Katie Kimbrough, Michael Kimbrough

Mike Burton and Michael Kimbrough

Comments

Katie S. Kimbrough
Dad is on FB... if you already know that?

Terrell Shaw
Great, I'll "friend" him! It was good to have y'all with us. Come again!

Katie S. Kimbrough
I had so much fun and I would love to bring my mom to see your place! She loves old houses!

? and Jesse Kindred

Ty and Caroline

Ann McRay and Anita Stewart

Comments

Anita Stewart
Bo Stewart with jeans and white hair

Ann Allee McRay
It looks like you have my undivided attention! This picture is a long way away from our "Glow Worm" days!! ( You do remember that little performance don't you?)

Terrell Shaw
That sounds so familiar -- but you're gonna havta remind me... glow worm....

Ann Allee McRay
That comment was intended for Bo. It refers back to college days. Sorry!

Comments

Jim Ellington
Terrell, ya'll just let ANYBODY hang out in your backyard, doncha? LOL!
It was GREAT fun!!! Thanks! God willing, I'll let you take my pix again next year!
By the way, Terrell, you need to get your camera fixed 'cause it made me look old and FAT!!! LOL!

Ginger Eatman
Yep! What fun it was! A true example of Southern Hospitality all around!

Comment
Patricia Canada
OMG love this photo. my dear friends

Comment

Ann Allee McRay
My beautiful family minus Trace. I had a wonderful time, Terrell and Sheila.

Terrell Shaw
So did we... and we're so glad y'all came!

Steve Craw

Angela and Wayne Jones

Teresa Ware, Max Medley, and Sam Smith

Clockwise at table from Left: Sam Baltzer, Janet Baltzer, Mary Doster,?, Mike Burton,

?

Comments

Mary Doster
Thank you, Terrel. It almost looks lime me. Your party was great fun. Ask me again next year, please.

Terrell Shaw
You are already invited. July 4, 2011. 7 pm. Bring a side dish and a folding chair. (Also July 4, 2012, 13, 14, etc.) Reckon we could get Bob and Co, up here?

Bob Doster
Love to come, BUT there are three yard apes that command my attention that day.

Terrell Shaw
We welcome all sorts of wildlife - bring 'em along!

Comment

Mary Nisbet Asbury

Pretty girl!!!

Don Rusaw

Jonathan Chisholm

Comments

Ginger McClure
Oh, yeah...I have a different food in my hand with every shot taken!!!

Mary Nisbet Asbury
What were you eating? Ice cream?

Ginger McClure
who knows...I had some of every single solitary thing that was served, I think...I least that is how it looks in all of the pictures!! (yep, ice cream)

Mary Nisbet Asbury
It was all good. Especially the ribs!!!!

Ginger McClure
oh, my...those delightful ribs!!!!! Gotta go make supper now.....

Mary Nisbet Asbury
Ribs???

Comments

Mary Nisbet Asbury
I like this !!!!!

Holly Moore
This is beautiful.

Mary Rose Ortwein
Wow! This is neat!!!

Comments

David Shaw
Fireworks over my much abused (or at least thoroughly used) smoker... I love it!! Can't wait for Monday next!!!! Got a new brisket recipe I've been working on and I think it is ready for prime-time????

Terrell Shaw
Did you see the list of meat? One of my students gave me some buffalo last year -- I put it in the freezer to await the Fourth.

In foreground: Richard and Teresa Ware and Nick Douglas

Anita and Quillian Stewart

Comments

Terrell Shaw
Watch the PDA guys! 

Anita Stewart
Hey, if we've got the hormones for PDA at ages 65 and 66, we better take advantage of them!

Other Comments:

 From Mary Nisbet Asbury's Facebook:

Thank you again Terrell for having ALL of us to your lovely home for your 4th celebration!!! As I said before that was the best party I can remember since coming to Rome and by far the most fun. Thanks for the great food and hospitality. I have enjoyed working with you and hope to be on stage with you again!!!!

Terrell: It was great to have you & Greg here! BSIII WAS great fun. wasn't it?! 

 

 

From Melissa Booth Witsell: 

Terrell, Thank you to the Master (and Lady) of the House for your generous hospitality last night. We had a fabulous time!!