Tom Swifties

Russ Ringsak - the eloquent writer and astute observer who also drives the big truck back and forth across the country for Garrison Keillor and The Prairie Home Companion -- reintroduced me to Tom Swifties. What fun. Had you heard of them?

Examples from A to Z:

"I'm wearing a ribbon round my arm," said Tom with abandon.

"I can't eat any more lemon peel," said Tom zestfully.

Here is a link to a Tom Swifty website.
Here are Russ's two essays that mention Swities: One Two.
That second link has Russ's prize winner, and perhaps my favorite as well:

"Here comes the prisoner down the stairs now," Tom said, condescendingly.

PTSW: Man's Best Friend

Several weeks ago my cousin, Don Baird, commented on one of my weekly poetry posts and attached this poem of his which had been published in The Wall Street Journal's humor column, "Pepper and Salt". If you use this with young students, you will need to define 'excelsior'.

The Morning News post-Fido, AKA "excelsior".

Let's start this week with a little humor from my cousin.

To a Puppy

May I present these tattered shoes,
These paw prints by the door,
And what was once the morning's news
That's now excelsior

These little deeds, though not a lot
to bug one to no end,
Surely have me beat as how you got
That title 'Man's Best Friend.'

by Don Baird

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The series of posts, A Poem to Start the Week, is my little anthology of poetry, many of which I have used with my students in elementary schools during 27 years of teaching.



Previous Poems to Start the Week:
Spelling is Tough Stough! • Blue Marble • Tacks, Splinters, Apples and Stars
Oh, Captain, My Captain! • Metaphor • Introducion to Poetry
Loveliest of Trees • Flax-Golden Tales • The Dinosaurs Are Not All Dead
Owl Pellets • Mummy Slept Late • Just My Size
The Kindest Things I Know • Miles to Go • Love that Brother
Oh, Frabjous Day!

Other Posts about Children's Literature:

The Lion's Paw top kid's OOP book!
Harry
Aslan is Dead!

Multiplying People, Rice, and Readers

A Teacher's Life

You can read some of my own efforts at poetry here.
And then there's Alien Invasion.

A weblog dedicated to Poetry for Children.
Watch Sonja Cole's reviews of children's books at Bookwink.com.

Separated at birth?

Non-political fun!



I Look Like My Dog Winners!

Five Questions for the Lord

A First Interview with the Lord
On Arriving in Heaven

OK, Lord, you know what a shock this is to me. You really must be Love to allow a rank wretch like me up here. So I gotta catch my breath before I ask the first question...

Here goes Lord...

1. The platypus - it was your little joke, right?

2. Mosquitoes, cooties, fire ants, ...Republicans, for Heaven’s sake?

3. Time? What the heck is it? How do I comprehend this new existence without it?

4. Women? Lord, Mama is one. I have five sisters and two sisters-in-law. I married one. We have two daughters. I have spent 27 years working in elementary schools. And I still don’t understand women. I’ve been told, “We’ll understand it all by and by.” Well, isn’t this “by and by”? Could you take an age or two and just go ahead and explain?

5. Finally, Lord, Sex. Is it another little joke, Lord? I’m not complaining -- you KNOW I’m not complaining -- but why in creation did you make so-o-o-o-o absolutely ridiculous a behavior so central to our psychology and essential to our survival? Couldn’t things have worked out better for humanity if such ecstasy were brought on by, say, truth, beauty, good works, cleanliness, punctuality, mercy, really good music, or even neat underwear drawers?

Thank you Lord for taking the time -- well, whatever you’ve taken here -- to listen to my questions. I’ve got a bunch more, but at orientation they said we had to keep it to five for now.

Oh, uh, Lord, ...I wonder, ...uh, could I maybe ask, ...uh, just a follow up to number 5 -- what are your policies on being -- you know, just occasionally, ...uh, a little ridiculous up here?

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(I found this meme on my sister's blog, Daddy's Roses. I hope my light-hearted response offends noone. I did a semi-serious one... but it soon turned silly and I just couldn't help myself! The Devil made me do it?)