Saturday, June 13, 2020

There's another man

Sheila admitted to me this morning that she has developed an affection for another man. 

This is upsetting. 

The cad’s name is Mark Cochran, our fellow member of Trinity United Methodist Church and newly minted Rome City Commissioner. Yesterday Sheila attended a special community meeting at the City Auditorium to discuss the fate of the Bedford Forrest monument that originally sat in the middle of Broad Street and now resides in the city cemetery at Myrtle Hill. Mark Cochran was a part of the panel of commissioners who spoke.

So perhaps you think it’s Cochran’s boyish good looks, his work to refurbish buildings on Broad, his complete rebuilding of a gorgeous old home on Clocktower Hill, his determination to dispel rumors and report the truth during the reactions in our city to the racist murders of 2020, or his leadership in the meeting Thursday. 

Nope. 

She does admire those things but the little hearts throbbing in her eyes are spurred by something else.

You see, Sheila has noticed that many folks under the age of forty have decided to just delete random hard consonants in the middles of words, The glaring example is the word “important”. Some millennials and other young folk in our culture have decided, inexplicably, to pronounce it without the first “t”: “impor-ent”. This has become a major pet peeve for Sheila.

BUT Mark enunciates that word correctly and has thus won my wife's heart.

As we approach our 49th anniversary of wedded bliss Sheila has fallen for another man.

I am in despair.

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