It's days like today I am reminded how grateful I am that a certain beautiful blond agreed to marry her fortunes with mine 45 years ago.
The anesthesiologist said he'd put me in a deep sleep very quickly, but I decided, OK, this time I'm gonna fight it and see if I can stay aware of the indignities about to occur. It's my curiosity. I really would like to see the screen. To watch my innards on the TV. So I made my self super aware. I am stronger than any anesthesia.
I was out cold in a few seconds.
As I came to, seemingly seconds later, the most beautiful woman I know was stroking my arm, leaning in to kiss this old prostrate man occasionally, and laughing with me about the rude noises I'd been encouraged by the nurse to emit. (This part went on a while. I don't know if a bicycle pump was involved in the procedure, or if they just used a full-sized scuba tank to inflate me. It's a wonder I didn't rise to the ceiling like Aunt Marge.)
Anyway that sweet sexy woman at my elbow when I awaked, put up with all I went through last night and today, drove me home while I talked more freely than usual, ensconced me in my easy chair, while she busied herself in our kitchen. In no time she presented me with a breakfast of omelet with spinach, mushrooms, Canadian bacon, and feta topped with salsa and yogurt, (real) buttered toast just the way I like it, grits swimming in real butter, and a cup of perfect coffee.
I am truly a lucky man. I have an unblemished colon and a kind and gorgeous wife.
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