How to wash a cat
Gather materials:
- pet shampoo
- crossword puzzle, sudoku.
- sharpened pencil or pen
- ear plugs
- an assistant
1. Raise both lids of the toilet and add two tablespoons of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Gather the cat in your arms and stroke him gently as you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one fluid movement place the cat in the toilet with one arm while closing the lid with the other. (It is best at this point to sit or stand on the lid.)
4. As the cat self agitates and produces ample suds you can work a crossword or a Sudoku. If the noises the cat makes as he enjoys his bath distract you from your puzzle simply employ the ear plugs.
5. After you have finished your puzzle flush the toilet three to four times. This provides the ‘Power Wash'and 'Rinse'.
6. Have your assistant open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no children or other family members between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand well back, behind the toilet if possible, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will spring out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and rush outside where the sun and fresh air will soon dry him.
9. Both the toilet and the cat should be sparkling clean.
Yours Sincerely,
Ol' Blue
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