The Talk (by Artagus Newell)

This year — in 2020! — in my home state, an unarmed young black man, peacefully jogging, was stopped and shot and killed. I cannot imagine that this would have happened had Ahmaud Arbery had fair skin. He died because of the attitude of the shooters toward people of color. This was a lynching.

I want to weep when I think of my wonderful minority students of the last fifty years who could find themselves confronted by similar unreasoning prejudice, and who DO daily meet less violent but just as unreasoning racism.

Today I read Artagus Newell's heartfelt post. Artagus invites the reader to see this horror through his eyes. I ask my white friends to open your hearts and minds to Artagus's words.

From Artagus's Facebook:

Artagus Newell

Ahmaud Arbery was lynched. The year is 2020. The place, Brunswick, Georgia, United States of America. Now, read that first line again. There’s so much I want and need to say in this post, but I will miss something.

All Black Kids at around age 10 or so, start to be given “the talk”. This is not the discussion about the “birds and bees”, this how you are perceived, will be/have been treated, how to/not act, stand, do, walk, carry yourself, and so on. This is not just be polite and respectful, it is to help ensure your safety- your life. Our parents were preparing us to be marginalized, and how to deal with it. We were warned, and rightly so, that we would not be seen as equals, that you’ll have to twice as good, to even be considered as a potential equal. Our parents told us this, not because of irrational fear, not because of one incident they heard of back in the day, but because they knew, that it would always be the subtle jabs about our hair, our “unusual names”, our manner of speech, what we eat, etc., but more importantly, when we started driving, when were at the mall, when were walking to our friends’ house several blocks away from where they knew we had no protective watchful eyes of our parents or others who knew us and looked after us. They knew that once we were elsewhere, we needed to aware of what situations may arise. They knew, that there would be white people would would like, trust, or give us the same respect, grace, and basic human dignity afforded to our whites friends.

We have all been followed in stores - not because of an over eager salesperson trying to make top seller, been called n......, been shamed in various ways, spoken to in a condescending manner, all of it, and you know what we do, we take it. Not because we’re okay with it, but because we know that by internalizing it, letting it roll off our backs, not saying or doing anything other than a forced smile or chuckle, will be perceived as being aggressive, uppity, out of place, and to some, gives them a cause to react. So, we simmer with constant anxiety coupled with rage, because these are things projected onto us so constantly by others, that they either don’t even know they’re doing or they do and simply don’t care and are completely okay with continuing to do so. Again, we still calm, because any form of what might be seen as “aggression” can quickly escalate to “I was in fear for my life” while our lifeless one is sprawled on the ground. But don’t worry, the receipt gathering will commence. Oh, that’s when our life is vetted after the fact of “ why were they there? What’s their criminal history? What are all the facts? Let’s not jump to conclusions!” You know the drill. Meanwhile, our parents are making funeral arrangements while having to defend their dead child’s name from others who again and still, don’t value our lives on par with their own. A friend of a friend literally stated and owned the receipt gathering mentality about Ahmaud. I can’t say I was surprised, he at least admitted where others think it, but aren’t willing to publicly admit it. This. This is the what we live through and try to survive EVERY DAY OF OUR LIVES!

I’ve gotten the nasty, piercing glares, as I took a stroll, in walking in my own neighborhood, not just in Rome, but Carrollton, as well. It’s a sad thing, when you have anxiety about going for a walk, because you don’t wanna have to deal with the potential of dealing with folks who don’t think you belong, or worse , an escalation. So, if you go, you don’t walk too fast, that’s aggressive, you don’t walk too slow, that’s suspicious- what’s he casing?, you wear your UWG hat and souvenir shirts and brightest colors, doing your best to “fit in” and be “okay’d” to continue on, and hopefully safely back home.

Even with all the decades of warnings and girding yourself, the lynching of Ahmaud Arbery happened.

To my white friends, you need to listen to your friends who are people of color, when they do try and explain their feelings or experiences, and not be dismissive of or try to explain away what happened or why they feel a certain way. We aren’t being dramatic or extra, we are being truthful, and honestly, if we confide these feelings to you, that means you’re someone we feel comfortable enough as a friend to do so- it’s not something we take lightly so please don’t brush it or us off.

This lynching, again, what this is, is just the latest in a string of occurrences that has left POC dead, their names and reputations sullied, while others try to find some justification as to why they’re dead. The culmination has me absolutely crestfallen.

I implore my white friends, especially those who have children and family members who are POC, to know and empathize, that they will not be seen through the same lens as you are. Their experiences WILL be different, and oftentimes difficult. And for the love of God, the “I have a black friend” or posting something from the likes of Candace Owens, or that ex-officer Brandon from YouTube is about the worst you can give to us, as that’s a hollow retort, and they and their ilk, while certainly entitled to their opinions, are NOT representative of the vast majority of black and brown people.

If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. More importantly, if it made you uncomfortable, then good, maybe it will be lead to some introspective thoughts you maybe hadn’t had before. I needed to say this. I needed to get this off my chest, and anxiety and blood pressure, while still up, are a bit better than it’s been.

Stay well.

Artagus.