PTSW : Hungry Old Lady

Fourth graders still enjoy this silly song. The picture book (at left) with cut-outs on each page to reveal the next lunch is a Caldecott Honor book.

The original song was written, according to Wikipedia, by Alan Mills. I suspect it has entered the folk tradition, where it has gained alternate endings and additional verses. Sing it if you can.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly,
I don't know why she swallowed a fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird,
How absurd! to swallow a bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a cat,
Imagine that! to swallow a cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a dog,
What a hog! to swallow a dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a goat,
Just opened her throat! and swallowed that goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wiggled and jiggled and tiggled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow,
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her,
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old woman who swallowed a horse,
She's dead—of course!

(Alternate ending for us preachers' kids)
There was an old lady who swallowed a minister,
How sinister!
It finished her.

-by Alan Mills (and others)

At the left is an older book of the song that I have.

Here's a coloring sheet to use with the song for younger kids.

___

Previous Poems to Start the Week:
There Was an Old Lady • i thank you God • finding ourselves
Breathes There a Man • Fog • Snow Day • Ode to Things
A Visit from St. Nicholas • Mice • All In a Word • The Spider • The Eagle
Some People • Custard the Dragon • Statistics 101 • The Spider and the Fly
Back to School • The Inchcape Rock • Ogden Nash • Trash
Hearts, Like Doors • Casey at the Bat • Always a Rose • Home at Last
Bag of Tools • Carpe Diem • Poems About Poetry • Man's Best Friend
Spelling is Tough Stough! • Blue Marble • Tacks, Splinters, Apples and Stars
Oh, Captain, My Captain! • Metaphor • Introducion to Poetry
Loveliest of Trees • Flax-Golden Tales • The Dinosaurs Are Not All Dead
Owl Pellets • Mummy Slept Late • Just My Size
The Kindest Things I Know • Miles to Go • Love that Brother
Oh, Frabjous Day!

Other Posts about Children's Literature:

The Lion's Paw top kid's OOP book!
Harry
Aslan is Dead!
Multiplying People, Rice, and Readers

A Teacher's Life

You can read some of my own efforts at poetry here.
And then there's Alien Invasion.

A weblog dedicated to Poetry for Children.
Watch Sonja Cole's reviews of children's books at Bookwink.com.
The PBS series Favorite Poem Project

Geezer Test Answers

Do you remember:

1. Captain Kangaroo's sidekick: Mr. Geenjeans?

2. Over 100 million very simple toys, Hula Hoops, being sold in 1958, 59, and 60?




3. When the Dodgers were in Brooklyn and the Athletics were in Philadelphia (later Kansas City) ?








4. "How much is that Doggie in the window?"

(Warning: Spoiler in video!)

5. What "Butch wax" was used for? Flattops and Crew cuts (maybe mustaches, too)

6. Keds and PF FLyers were sneakers, and Converse were the basketball shoes?

7. The proper response to "Oh, Pancho!"? "Ohhh, Cisco! (Cees - co!)

8. "Fury, the story of a horse and the Boy who Loved Him?"

9. The "longest golf shot of all time"? Astronaut Alan Shepard's shot on the surface of the moon.

10. The name of the dog that belonged to Dick and Jane? Spot

11. How about the dog that belonged to Alice and Jerry? Jip

12. Who was "born on a mountaintop in Tennessee"? Davy Crockett

13. Who were Bud, Princess and Kitten? The Anderson kids from Father Knows Best

14. How did "Col. Jackson's" men continue the fight after their guns no longer worked at the Battle of New Orleans? They "grabbed an alligator and ... fought another round ... filled his head with cannonballs and powdered his behind, And when [they] touched the powder off the gator lost his mind"

15. Who 'owned' Mr. Ed? Wilbur

16. "Beaver" Cleaver's given name? Theodore

17. The jobs held by Floyd and Gomer in Mayberry? Barber and filling station attendant.

18. The name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody Show? Princess Summerfallwinterspring

19. Maynard's middle initial? G. (Krebs, from The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis)

20. "You'll wonder where the where the yellow went, when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent."?

SCORING:
Fewer than five correct - You're a blame kid.
Six to ten correct - You're a young whippersnapper.
Eleven to fifteen correct - You're still a Beatles fan but your hair is much shorter than it used to be.
Sixteen to nineteen correct - You're a greasy old geezer who once wore a duck-tail or a flattop and still guard your collection of Elvis 45s.
Twenty correct - You're a tech-savvy teen who googled all twenty questions while text-messaging twelve friends and illegally downloading three songs and two movies simultaneously.

Sunday Concert: Toscanini Conducts Beethoven's Ninth

Arturo Toscanini conducts Beethoven's Ninth Symphony with the NBC Orchestra in New York City, 3/4/1948 -- a few days before my first birthday.

Geezer Test

Do you remember:
1. Captain Kangaroo's sidekick: Mr. __________________?

2. Over 100 million very simple toys, __________ ____________, being sold in 1958, 59, and 60?


3. When the ________________ were in Brooklyn and the Athletics were in _____________ __________ ?








4. "How much is that ______________ in the window?"

(Warning: Spoiler in video!)

5. What "Butch wax" was used for?

6. Keds and PF FLyers were ______________, and Converse were the _______________ shoes?7. The proper response to "Oh, Pancho!"?

8. "Fury, the story of a horse and _____ ______ _____ _________ ____?"

9. The "longest golf shot of all time"?

10. The name of the dog that belonged to Dick and Jane?11. How about the dog that belonged to Alice and Jerry?

12. Who was "born on a mountaintop in Tennessee"?

13. Who were Bud, Princess and Kitten?

14. How did "Col. Jackson's" men continue the fight after their guns no longer worked at the Battle of New Orleans?

15. Who 'owned' Mr. Ed?16. "Beaver" Cleaver's given name?

17. The jobs held by Floyd and Gomer in Mayberry?18. The name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody Show?

19. Maynard's middle initial?

20. "You'll wonder where the _____________ ___________, when you brush your teeth with _____________________."?

(Warning: Spoiler in video!)

SCORING:
Fewer than five correct - You're a blame kid.
Six to ten correct - You're a young whippersnapper.
Eleven to fifteen correct - You're still a Beatles fan but your hair is much shorter than it used to be.
Sixteen to nineteen correct - You're a greasy old geezer who once wore a duck-tail or a flattop and still guard your collection of Elvis 45s.
Twenty correct - You're a tech-savvy teen who googled all twenty questions while text-messaging twelve friends and illegally downloading three songs and two movies simultaneously.

I'll post my answers in a few days.

Whoops!

I have never been able to resist telling a good story. It looks like I'd be able to resist when the story illustrates conclusively that the teller is an imbecile.

Today's example:

It is first period. A much-loved (by me) fourth grade teacher is before a room full of eager students and two adults. The adults are my young student teacher and the speech teacher who joins our class three mornings a week to help the several children in my class who have language or speech difficulties. As we discuss Social Studies the word "peninsula" comes up. Multi-tasking as he is wont to do, your imbecile begins to write the word in large red letters on the whiteboard as he talks away. He manages to get up the first four letters, but gets ahead of himself somehow, skips the fifth letter. After writing the sixth letter he is vaguely aware that he has somehow mangled the spelling and studies the five-letter word part before him as he continues to talk without completing the word. Snickers - FROM THE TWO ADULTS - catch his attention. The speech teacher quietly, and with a stifled chuckle in her voice, suggests that he erase what he has written thus far and start again. Finally the letters take on a new significance to the idiot and he quickly swipes the felt eraser across the board and glances at the two adults who are making strange snorting noises.

Remarkably the 10-year-olds in the room seem oblivious to the entertaining event they have witnessed.

Lunchtime at the teachers' table would be a hoot for the entire faculty -- with possibly one exception.

By the way, our principal - tongue firmly planted in cheek - commended the teacher for his integration of the science and social studies curricula.

Things could have been worse. Our hero could have drawn an outline of Florida on the board before attempting to spell the word.

He may never again see Florida in quite the same way.

Classy Insults

I've seen this several times. I suppose whatever right of ownership was ever attached to it has been eroded during its trip

Preview

through cyberspace. I get a kick out of these. Thanks to cousin Don for sending them along.

These glorious insults illustrate the paucity of wit in the copulatory curses and excremental invective indiscriminantly hurled these days. When I am once again exposed to a gutter-mouthed little "sophisticate" I want to say, "Sweetheart, at 61, you do not shock me with such language -- I hear your famous F-word 78 times in every other movie I watch -- I'm just terribly disappointed at your lack of imagination."


When insults have class
who needs four-letter words?


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx