True Love Links

Daddy's Roses and A Few Minutes with Andy and Robin each have stories of True Enduring Love. They are worth the visit: check 'em out. I would argue that the basis for these long love affairs is mutual commitment.

True Love is a topic on which I have very strong opinions. Basically my theory of love is that love is a choice. Anything less than a choice is sub-human. If it's just chemistry or fate; if it's something I "fall" into; then my free will is not involved and I don't want it. If it can be "fallen" into; if it can be brought on by pheronomes or fate: then fate might call later for a split or pheramones might dissipate.

I can't believe I'm doing this again but here are some of my poems. These deal with True Love.

The first is addressed to my daughters:

Listen, Daughters

To Brannon and Lillian

Listen, daughters.
Be careful what you name love:
It is not so cheap as musk or fate;
It is not so easy as a fall.

Hear the wisdom of age;
Hear your father's voice!
Love is a promise.
Love is a choice.

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	The second is just a basic statement of my stubborn proposition:
	Choose Love At first sight, never! Let me choose or let me be. There's no romance in lightswitch love I will make my choice. Let the rat keep his musk.

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	This one plays with the idea that I could have made a different choice. It ends with the affirmation that I am very happy with the choice I made.
	I Suppose I Could Have Loved Jane I suppose I could have loved Jane. And Jennifer often waxed wise and gay. You are lovely, true: Were others plain? You laugh at my wit: So did they. I long for your kiss and your touch But passion, wit, beauty are all around. Others have kisses as sweet; and as much, All and any your charms abound. Even now in age I see sometimes A glance, a smile, a coy frown And think my songs, my artful rhymes Could win a youthful night in town. Temptations beckon, the world's untrue. Our promises keep. My world is you.

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	And finally I address the objection voiced by one person that my theory of love is cold. I took great exception to that objection since I have always felt my true love very warm, even, in today's parlance, hot! When I first read Erich Fromm's little book The Art of Loving, a real weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had dated lots of girls. I had kissed a good many of them and had found all of those experiences very enjoyable. (Admittedly one girl who smoked heavily had kisses less enjoyable.) Suddenly I was free to choose the one I would love. And if I could find someone willing to choose meas well, I could look forward to a wonderful loving relationship without the fear that I might have missed that one magical match that twentieth-century America had decided exists for everyone. I now knew that what separates infatuation from true love is commitment. No commitment, no love.
	True Love You think me daft, You say I'm cold and sad You think me a passionless crafty cad You think that heartless we bargain - both bloodless, scheming, colorless, mad! You swear we swear a sterile oath. I breathe, I feel, I bleed! -You are wrong. True, for love we labored hard and long; Made our choice, proclaimed our duty; But we wrote love free, wild as song composed with wit, passion and beauty. Her beauty drew me; her wit entranced; Her voice sang, painted, danced. My pulse quickened; her palms seemed wet; Our hearts meshed, entwined, romanced. In song, in passion, our promises met! You are right, true love must know fire True love is kind, doesn't boast, or tire It vaunteth not itself, is less "me" more "you" Doesn't sulk, demand, abuse, require But true true love must first ... be true!